Excerpt story.
...
You will see a cripple, crawling down the street - do not worry. He crawls to a hospital or police station. '.
From the diary of Arthur Aristakasyana.
In any mental hospital is always the same smell. I do not know, maybe in other countries, he and another, but in Russia, and throughout the former Soviet Union it is precisely the same everywhere. This scent with nothing to confuse. If you close your eyes, turn away from everything and bring it to my face cloth, and unleavened this smell - I never make a mistake, and this spirit will not forget.
The smell of desperation and stupidity, irrepressible yearning and surreal feeling of loneliness. Solitude in the crowd just like you and people stupid and downloaded accidentally become your ... If there is a municipality in the most shocking and mocking sense of the word - a nuthouse.
There, the sun rises and falls at the behest of Dr.. No, the sun I think I 'll be back, but now I'll start from the beginning.
Grey enclosure or conglomeration of buildings, usually on the outskirts of the city - they are the same type containers of tears and suffering, istukanskogo indifference and universal peace.
The front door and a cascade of gratings. All the ... L-shaped piece of iron a sign of power and authority. He was always in his hand of its owner. With the help of the outside door open and shut from the inside, clapping the last click of all your desires and expectations.
More ... This is not a prison: it can move relatively freely. Neurotics, morons, imbeciles, Oligophrenic schizophrenics - all in a heap. No, of course, violent tied to their beds, but the rest are united in their overcrowding and lack of rights. Large rooms, chambers packed in summer camp. The beds stand in rows from wall to wall with narrow aisles. On the lodgers net faded clothes - shabby but carefully repaired. scent. That total odor with which I began. The analogy suggests itself in something of a prison, but the paradox is that much worse in the nuthouse. Here everything is impersonal, there is a personal. Treasury meal. Treasury clothes and bedding - mattress you sleep on it, a bathrobe with room for growth, or popping in the joints - all is not size, is absurd, just as the place where you are dwelling. regimented life. The doctors are doing everything so that you do not stand out. He was a member of this ... One of the rams of the flock. If you are schizophrenic, in the active stage of your ship - chlorpromazine, chlorpromazine, chlorpromazine to infinity....
But there came a doctor, a narrow specialist dermatologist for advice from someone sick, he goes down the hall and harmless moron running after him and muttered: - Doctor, I know you! . - I know, I know, I know...!.
This babbling endlessly, monotone, monotonous. But there are always nurses. Everywhere nurses. They accompany them, it is not possible without taking a step to the right to the left.
- Hryas! . - Doctor, I have knowledge. - End of sentence an innocent moron swallows with viscous saliva. Falls to his knees. tears gush. - What he feels at that moment? . His return to the family. He does not know this doctor. It seemed. If you're not familiar, you can not live that life, can not, there is, you can not drink, and breathe the same air with these characters, shadows will be devilishly difficult. You skuet disgust and fear. Contempt for this world.
Turnover among the younger of the fantastic. Corpsmen are changing frequently, I do not remember their faces and names. Who goes to work in nurses? . It should be different, and good health to mankind as a doctor or nurse is not to be the most family members.
However, it is better, Anton Pavlovich, this aspect no longer shine.
A person from outside the superstitious feel disgust, horror and fear in this charitable institutions. These same feelings towards the patient. They are pariahs, untouchables. A patient with syphilis, scabies causes rejection, disgust and contempt. Here is a completely different cocktail. Cat - that would probably be a good example. The cat, hit by a car on the road. Liver reeled off the asphalt. When you go and see this piece of meat as it shamelessly exposed to the show, which is half an hour ago, there was a lively and affectionate Murka feel holy horror and disgust. Remain indifferent not possible. You try as much as possible to bypass it, because it is unnatural. The cat should fawn at the feet and purr, or it should not be at all. So it is here in the nuthouse. Intuitively, in the subconscious, you know that never, under any circumstances you would not want to become a member of the family. Living here punished twice. First they took away the mind, when put into the framework with its rules of play, deprived of freedom, and created the world upside down. In this world, the main dominant of unquestioning obedience doctor. He is the guru and God, as he said, so it is. Breathe, drink, eat, and the sun rises and sets - all with his generous permission. If you do not agree and it is ready to challenge, or even worse it seemed to the doctor that you are rebellious and argumentative, you're loaded. Those who have been in an insane asylum will not forget it never, never forget the family and do not forget, to erase from the memory itself is never without the smell of the House.
This was the preamble to the actual story now about how to get this house. A typical story of someone else's trivial asshole who took place in the nuthouse. Although who knows, maybe it was his destiny and his place.
...
One morning you wake up and suddenly realize that everything is bad, very bad. More recently, say yesterday, you had a chance to change something, fix, let the other cars on the track, but now - you stay on the sidelines and did not affect the events that unfold around you, as the sheets. The injustice of death is particularly acute in life, no one will convince you to go to the appropriate area of the dead, they just are not enough arguments for this.
Sergei Zhadan.
Lech woke up to a second alarm sound. Sound of a raucous ringtone Alexander Sklyar: In this crazy love we certainly drown each other.
And we will forever lie like two starfish....
His heart pounded with the failures and chimes, light asthma attack rolled up, clutching his throat, and cough Klokot helpless tore the lungs and throat crossed. - Stupid Dream, Mother dear, - wheezing Lech three aerosol spray from the spray.
Lehi dreamed of hunting for geese. He and Savka crumpled robes are not on the size, brown spots on wide boots Wetlands smoke and the sharp sound of an electronic decoy. Decoy resonated with a pleasant click of geese and more frightened of their. Not exactly attracted. Twin sharp sound: - Ha- ha, just a fractional bulk - ha-ha -ha-ha....
Bean flew away from the profiles and stuffed. Lech raised his gun and took a pot shot them vosled. - Early, Lech, early - grimly muttered Savka and gently lowered the muzzle of the gun to the ground. Lech evil blinked, twisted his mouth and shot a sighting to the nearest profile. Snorovisto reloaded the shotgun and the doublet slapped on the External Speaker semolina. Seeing eye, spray plastic and catching a ragged rhythm of the heart of Lech awake.
- And so every night, every dream... bistika. - Crushed muttered Lech.
Sloppy breakfast, he hastily assembled to work. Cursing himself fled to the parking lot behind the machine. Warming up the old bed charge ...
- Alex you're me, of course, I'm sorry, but think about nutrition is not your path. - You are standing in the food chain in a somewhat different place than, say, the tiger. - The predator has a short gut and excellent metabolic. - And a very fast. - A person is not an example of the intestine is longer and much slower metabolism. - Hence, we do a simple conclusion: there must be slowly, concentrating solely on the process, the brain must realize that we now eat and just eat, you can not watch television or read. - There must be universal feeling hungry, but not on a schedule. - To jump from a bad habit to eat or drink water on the clock. - Eat only when hungry, and the true water did not drown.
Lech heeded as a dietician guru's latter-day remembering two hundred dollars per session but ate out of habit is dense and greasy in the morning without looking at his plate and sharyas on the Internet by reading the text at the same time and clatter.
Lech Sukhoparov got into trouble, sumptuous morning traffic jam. Leaving from the Leningrad Avenue subway from the ... He got an e -book and started reading the fourth chapter of the new novel by Andrew Rubanova ...
Casually glanced through the windshield and noted with satisfaction: - A dull ass ...
Lech was trying to understand the text but had a hard uncomfortable. Physically, felt like a cork eats time. His personal biological time.
He thought: - Several villains go along tram routes and on the wrong side. They are rushing, they like the toughness and riding. - But the ride is only like a handful of bad riding mutt. bad.
Lech look boring ... Covered with fine droplets of German machine seemed to seal the she wanted to sneeze at the angry looks, and was haughtily impervious.
- Yield Fervayle! . But the moment did not stop and did not become a great. Located in a dense traffic Lech did not feel secure. Bud then dragged him out into the bright artificial light and exposed, and all around curiously studying the flaws of his body loose. I wanted to run away, crawl away to hide in a dark corner to dissolve in an impenetrable darkness. Lech introduced that will come out of the car and climb onto the roof. What did he see? .
- Go to hell, this is bullshit! . drooped shoulders. put up.
Jam rocked, champ, buzzing horn. Produced miasma of his own life. Poorly digested Smerdel diesel fuel and cut eyes half-open window. Foreign cars delicately bunch high-octane gasoline, previously passed through the catalytic converters and. Gray smoke of low-level flight flew Avenue. Some chewing gum is a melancholy to the music on headphones clangorous. Some people swear by mobile phone. Cops talked to walkie -talkie. Uninhibited girls painted lips and defiantly leafed through the glossy magazines. The city woke up, pulled up, gritted his metal and concrete joints. Slegontsa shuddered and began to breathe. It's like a martial arts gym, if it did Colossus. Soft and slow movement. Sly and adjusted for years of daily practice. All came quietly set in motion the process of Concurrently.
...
crowding the poor villages,.
and infected with the process of decay.
a colossus with feet of clay ... - Lehi recalled inappropriately.
The usual morning Moscow. Well, that's Lehina jam started to move gradually. The car vibrates slightly shifted thoughtfully considered, and automatic transfer of up to two. gently rolled. In Lehi was not claustrophobic but the other is not known it was just a phobia. Compressed from all sides - right and left, front and rear tin boxes, stuffed with people Lech was a soldier in this army of infinite. Lech vomited intuitive desire to hide in its own shell, to drop out of the general rate, to break a single operation. The physical sense of itching from the crowd, the feeling of shoulder and elbow. The sensations of the elbow, rather hundreds elbow in his neck. Lech closed his eyes and opened them suddenly shaken. Struck by a banal idea. His idea struck a simple, obvious: all people to the horizon ( there are ) forward right and left are doomed. By and large this cemetery on wheels, all these people are going to die. Having a vivid imagination, he imagined skeletons. Their bones are enveloped muscle mass, skin, and only modestly conceals the future punishment of earthworms. All these people, in cars despite the difference in age and religion, social status and nationality were authentic. Distinguish between them only the amount and quality of fat and cholesterol, bilirubin and blood glucose. Rotten haggard stained paste. Trained lean and perfectly healthy. In general, these differences in terms of death equal to zero. Or tend to zero.
- We've all had those who who would later go away - thought fascinated Lech. - No one can not escape this. - All shall perish, perish. This simple idea completely mastered Lehoy. He was cradling her, holding and nurturing. This shocked the banality of Alexei and brought to the light emotion of tears.
Thoughts have a lightning zig-zag to the other extreme.
- Maybe this is flashmob? .
Lech literally... Uel this idea. Began to look for a new explanation and salvation. He took a cigarette golimuyu badly delayed, gurgled in a cough. Lech introduced his boss San Sanycha standing in the same traffic jam on the two hundredth fierce ... No it is not possible so that these people uchuvstvovali in flashmob. Strong man of indeterminate age much respected businessman. Immense suit with trendy labels more like a coaching outfit. Broken fleshy ears turned outwards. A sharp look - shot. The absolute lack of a sense of humor. San Sanych and swore never. Why would he do it? .
This question-and- warning sounded extremely rare. An employee to whom both treated and San Sanych fear the pale. definitely been edited. Otherwise, a different way and did not want to think what might happen. Such ... It is hard to imagine their reality show participants. With them on the hard life, God forbid. Lech faced with such a character, trying to keep silent. Any objection to a fair turning into fornication, and the edges were always yours. Lech golimuyu finished off a cigarette, hath detsel. The idea of a traffic jam was frivolous and silly laughter caused unreasonable. Silencing his fist in imitation cough illness called Lech Deputy San Sanycha, simple and familiar way the guy Savik Vertiporoh.
The same one which failed Savik hunting for geese in a dream.
- Sawa Ilyich is Lech Sukhoparov. I feel disgusting, ached to the fullest. You can now take a day off at his own expense?.
Sawa Ilyich growled in response to sluggish in our office, other than to compensatory time off at his own expense, and there has never been banged up and. Come short beeps. Lech is taken as a sign of consent.
Comfortably ensconced in an armchair Lech focused on beer. Under his feet in slippers slipped shapeless ottoman. On a glass table top pack of cigarettes arranged malachite ceramic mug with a bulging on the sides of crayfish. Ashtray and a pack of hot peanut torn. Packaging of beer 'Budweiser' at the feet of. Frankly do not like beer Lech. It is difficult, again, belching and flatulence. But today, Lech beer loaded in anticipation of absinthe. A bottle of absinthe he gave his wife on a night out of San Sanycha. Pretty Irene. Dostoyal bubble up to the present day, covered with noble dust. How to drink absinthe Lech know in theory. Today is the day of the ...
Sour belching, and swaying from side to side, Lech dragged concealed a bottle of absinthe. Nabulkav the eye fifty a gram glass of cognac. In the thick glass countertops put two lumps of sugar on each other and generously poured absinthe on it. Arson match up absinthe in the glass and began to rotate it in your hands. Beer mug covered with a glass of waited a minute and a cocktail straw began to suck out a pair of circles. Swearing and choking in heartburn, gulped down the bitter swill and melted sugar seized. The experiment clearly suffered a fiasco.
Lech leaned back in his chair and began to cry. Otstradav, lit a cigarette golimuyu. Ducked his head and slippers nirvana Lech remembered Irene. creative party. San Sanych under pressure from his wife rented a house of culture in the frontal and Irene gave all at the mercy of. On a stage erected a makeshift lodge. All the staff were dressed up and painted Indians Style. San Sanych sitting in a dark recess in the usual strict dress over a similar outfit to the coaching. Paternal gaze bored. Everything was fresh and somewhat sluggish, and the people derevenel fake fun, relaxing only managed to Irene.
But now there was a flashback kind of bias, and all transformed.
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